by EK Wills
This week I managed to get a viral infection. It’s a seemingly small thing but enough to throw a spanner in the otherwise well-oiled machine of daily life.
When juggling full time work, study and family and all their requirements, a small thing that upsets the balance means life get chaotic and you can start to question what you’re doing and how you’re doing it.
All the things that you usually deal with in your stride become hard. Little annoyances become hurdles and more hurdles make you less tolerant of any other demand on your attention.
Then you start to slip in your routines, feel guilty and then beat yourself up that you’re not progressing or worse you feel yourself slide into a slump.
The negative talk takes hold and you find yourself telling your fragile side that you’re a failure but the more things you try to tackle the worse it seems to get.
At this point, you’re exhausted but can’t sleep because you’ve been pushing yourself beyond the point of what is reasonable.
That’s where I found myself this morning, still in the grips of coughing fits, tired after waking too early, and grumpy with everyone, especially myself. It doesn’t help that I’m supposed to have surgery on Wednesday and am nervous it will get cancelled because I need to be able to breathe. (That’s next week’s story if it goes ahead.)
I decided then and there that I needed to actually take care of myself and actively planned how to do this.
CARE PLAN
1. IDENTIFY what ACTUALLY NEEDS to be done TODAY
This is harder than you think.
We have routines that are generally full and then events need to be squeezed in between them.
But what really needs to be done today that will affect tomorrow?
We have the school fare tomorrow and baking needs to be done for the stall.
The cleaning, however, can wait.
2. STOP and THINK about WHAT YOU ARE DOING
We can be so used to walking through a room and picking and sorting as we go, that it becomes automatic.
Being at home should be a sanctuary when you are feeling down, not a reminder of how much more there is still to do.
Either put on the psychological blinkers this weekend or try point number 3.
3. ASK for HELP
Your children can help even in small ways. Those small things that need ferrying from one room to another, like rubbish or putting things away, are easily done by little hands.
If your lucky enough to have a partner or family member, they could take the kids while you have a sleep or some alone time.
If not, then play dates with someone else could work.
4. CREATE the MOOD for CHANGE
Sometimes your regular supports don't work.
Today, I tried listening to my regular meditation but the noise of overhead aeroplanes interfered and irritated me even more.
Time to change my approach: I tried reading instead.
Luckily I found an email that had some sage advice on a topic that had been bothering me (online marketing, believe it or not) that helped to change my mood.
Or a complete change of pace with music can set your mood on a better trajectory for the day.
5, ONLY AGREE to what you WANT to do
Novel idea, isn’t it?
Imagine being able to only do the things you want to do today?
For many people, particularly parents, we do things because we think we should or because we think it will be good for the children.
We forget that we need to have mental health days, too.
I’ve had mine today and I’m having to set boundaries for tomorrow’s fare by only staying for my child’s performance. I know that is what is most helpful as I am not capable of more this time.
When it comes to your health, balance in important.
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