By EK Wills
No matter what activity you decide to engage your children in they will not generally thank you.
No matter how much you may encourage them to persist, a time will come when they will berate you for not choosing what they later want or that you let them quit something they weren’t prepared to persist with.
We recently discovered this phenomena with music. The youngest is learning drums and he has now revealed that he doesn’t like loud noises which would explain why he plays so softly. The middle one has declared that she wished she played piano even though she started in preschool and stubbornly refused to play when two hands became required. And the oldest is about to start the higher school certificate (HSC) years but has informed us that she wishes to take up the violin and guitar again while studying for her final years of high school.
Similarly all three were encouraged to do Kung Fu as a form of exercise, to learn coordination and ultimately as a form of self defence. When each child tipped into teen hood, attendance waned. We tried injecting interest by suggesting it become a source of income when they get to instructor level. We encouraged attaining black belt before deciding to quit, especially when there was talent there.
But teens don’t listen to parents and then feel they have the absolute right to tell them it is the parents’ fault when the child’s interest peaks at a later date.
My usual response now is to suggest that at least they have a grounding in it and therefore the opportunity exists to pick it up later, just hopefully not when about to tackle the HSC!
The other response it to shrug with a non-committal “Oh well, you can’t do everything!”
This one is particularly important because if limits aren’t set on extra-curricular activities, then not only is the budget blown, but every waking hour is filled with pick ups and drop offs and before you know it, kids are complaining there is no time to do their homework. Nice try!
We decided on a 3 activity limit per child. This included swimming lessons and sporting activities as well as music lessons so a ration was allocated to each child to decide at particular times which activities were the most important.
When children are little, it’s up to you. Whatever you would like to take them along to participate in is the activity of choice – until they start complaining or resisting and you don’t want to persist anymore. If you’re really lucky, you’ll hit the jackpot and find one that they like and you like - but don’t hold your breath.
No sooner do you get used to something and it will change. It is the law of parenting.
So start with aqua babies if you like getting in the pool with your bub and gymbaroo to start a love affair with equipment later found in a playground or fitness gym. If you like team sports, then progress to something like soccer (who doesn’t love watching them kicking the ball?) or individual activities like dance for personal pleasure and the end of year concert you pay a bucket load towards tickets and costumes for, but will end up with a fabulous DVD at the end. And if they need socialising, then there’s always Brownies or Scouts.
Whatever you choose, you can enjoy the roller coaster of activities for years to come.
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