By EK Wills
Ever have that feeling there is something you want to do but don't feel equipped to do it? Or you don't have the confidence in yourself to do it? Have you ever tried to Fake It Till You Make It?
There are so many areas in our lives that this concept can be applied to.
One that resonates for me was when I first started medical school as a mature aged student. I remember walking in to the university building for the Graduate School of Medicine and my heart was skipping, in awe of where I was and what I was doing. Then came the pang of anxiety, ‘Uh oh, can I do this?’
Throughout medical school it was a mantra to need to act like a leader, as if you know what you’re doing, until you feel it. To be honest, even when I graduated and started as an intern I still had the feeling I was an imposter.
Now I’m a psychiatry registrar, second year, and it dawned on me that it’s actually true now. After 6 years of training, I finally feel like a doctor and not an imposter.
Of course I still have more training to do but I am now not daunted at the prospect of what I am doing and making decisions that effect people’s lives.
This is about to be put to the test next week, as I am about to take a short locum position in another state. I will be out of my comfort zone of knowing the staff, the system, and where everything is and I will be in a place I have never worked before.
I’m hoping that my newfound confidence will see me through.
It is said that this approach echoes the principles of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), whereby a person acts confident, competent and optimistic to realize these qualities and enable change in their life. But psychologytoday says ‘Faking it until you make it only works when you correctly identify something within yourself that's holding you back’.
Interestingly, there appears to be a fundamental difference between men and women when it comes to this behaviour. I recently read that in a review of records by Hewlett-Packard many more men were happy to apply for promotions with fewer skills required to achieve the role than women.
It seems women need to feel fully able to perform the role while men tend to take on things and feel comfortable about learning on the job.
So here are some ways to help you change those statistics and help your life become more fulfilling.
Ways to Fake It Till You Make It:
1. smile - to evoke mood and feel less stressed
2. dress for success - to make you feel you belong in the role
3. use body language – stand tall to feel more powerful
4. Fake confidence – early assertiveness is self fulfilling
5. Listen to uplifting music – to change your mood
6. Imitate a role model – to help you feel like you have a goal to aim for
(to read more about these, check out mental floss)
My example took 6 years to achieve and there were a lot of tears and trials along the way. Maybe a more accessible example is parenting….
When you have a baby, you don’t know how to be a parent but somehow you learn how to do it and maybe even have another child or two along the way.
Imagine now that you were given your entire family to run as it is now, rather than one at a time to learn as you go? It is the same principle.
We tell our kids all the time that you need to learn a skill rather than know it before you start.
We all feel like imposters in some areas of our lives so let’s keep practicing how to Fake It Till You Make It.
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